Jianda Monique: Conscious soul ambient electronica for meditation’s sake. Jianda Monique Music is available on iTunes, at Amazon, eMusic, CD Baby + other fine music retailers.
We are all born love agnostics. Loving, period. Without dogma attached.
Then if all the variables lock in just right, we make our way to this world/plane. More often than not, we’re forced to choose a team* (no team/both teams is a kind of a forced choice too). Sometimes people choose a team for shorthand/shortcut (words fail us, indicators and metaphors can help), for political reasons, for some sense of a declaration of self. Or to make it easier for dates and mates to find them (think: standing at the airport with a sign for your incoming party). Or just because.
How can an SGL-identified female find some “dude” attractive? I’ll let Tim Gunn break it down for you.
I think a part of ‘escaping’ this he-she sexbattle chaos has to do with taming it. Not making the dynamic docile or sterile, but riding its waves. Surfing it. Much like life…it *is* life. Without womb, blood, spirit alchemy? No life. Without white light/white heat, zygote hero’s journey and finishing that race a winner? No life. Out we pop after all that fire stoked, recipe, cookin’ and battlin’. We already have won a mystical race just to make our way(s) here.
Still, the male-female (traditional) dynamic is as old as time. It’s where we’ve come from (to date…the pattern even replicates via test tubes…). It must be venerated, respected. We all must settle back into natural-born love for any kind of peace of mind in one’s own lifetime. There will always be natural disasters in the world. We’ll always be mitigating and cleaning up the messes. Protecting ourselves and/or our loved ones after the damage is done. Cleaning things up, getting wiser in the process, living and loving more in the aftermath.
When praying, loving, make-loving, f*cking (it’s always all-at-once, it’s always the big Turn On that creates yes?) it’s always about You.
You’re always experiencing and enjoying or appreciating the reflection of you. This is the end to all conflict and all war. In order to really *get* that idea though, one has to remember one loves oneself, and be about what that means. Then it automatically reflects in all interactions with others.
Ah…then, there’s the rub.
That familiar rub….
Yes.
…lower please?
Higher!
Now, a little to the left.
Right. That’s it…
If one prefers bois over boys, pop songs and Cosmo articles shift into new dimensions, shapeshifting becomes a veritable, hopefully amusing, sport.
Underneath all of this language, these shortcuts, these signifiers, we are spiritual, social, sexual beings who concurrently transcend the shell(s) we roam around in. We’re magic meaning makers who play with all kinds of chi all around the world and oftentimes out of it. You have a right to call it what you want and wear your team colors with Pride. No one has a right to take that away from you or tell you what it looks like, when, why, or who…who…where!
People forget.
People forget this so often, it’s like they never let themselves have one sweet second to remember it. Don’t let it break your heart. Just keep remembering for your own sweet self.
- inspired by my forever spiritbrother r.
Take the word *team how you’d like, it applies many ways
Without Judas, there would be no Jesus (as we’ve come to experience him).
Whether or not you believe in the latter “J,” Jesus Christ informs a lot of our cultural narratives. Each individual has an important role to play, and important self-imposed destiny.
In life we all tell stories. We all use metaphors on the daily.
We all teach one another, consciously or otherwise. It’s what we
do, we emulate one another. we learn from do’s and don’ts.
Learn by listening, loving, just observing, breathing.
When people don’t want to hear us or want to challenge us, our words,
our hearts…will we proceed? Or, how shall we proceed? Does criticism inform or fuel the
rest of our experience(s) from the impact of the words forward?
How important is it to love the haters or to pay them any mind?
Criticism is indeed a form of interest and attention, as inattention signifies people just don’t care
or are perhaps just deluged by life, focused elsewhere, unavailable.
Perhaps people are overwhelmed by your greatness. Or, by the combination of your
superhuman facets (all of us have these) and the facets that don’t reflect as much light.
Many people cannot sit with flaws, see past them, or let others know they are in
the presence of someone or something that has apparent flaws, that is in a process
of being that is not necessarily socially acceptable.
It’s good to learn to be okay with people who are just not at all okay…with you…with
your being.
Every review, every critique, is at the end of the day, just another
opinion. Such as we share everyday. when we are sharing what we really
feel we know, feel is Truth, then by our own definition, this is more than
just opinion.
In my estimation of Truth, Everybody is a leader, every message is unique,
everyone has their important piece to add to this Spirit puzzle. We are
designed this way.
What is reasoning but continuing to ask good questions, anyway, and
come to sound conclusions about answers, and asking more questions
and so on..?
What we share matters and we imbue it with meaning, I think. This meaning is
valuable and always manifests in ultimate goodness, I feel.
What we express matters, all ways.
What we focus on manifests all the more, I continue to renew and reflect my faith in that.
So, every day is a starting over, and each thought either renews or dies daily. Not sure of your next step? Why wait? Just walk. Or crawl. Or Think.
Illness and idiosyncrasies made the loves of my life improbable, but not impossible. Still here, at least for today.
Phoenixes, and resuscitations and reiterations, reclamations, new blogs, new personas, new experimentations, just dipping the toe in the water, is it enough?
Yes, for me, it is enough. I am e n o u g h. What’s that mean on tha’ daily, though?
I’ve had a fair bit of time in my own “vessel” of sorts, enough to realize what I’m doing is perfecting the art of existence. There is no bigger picture. I was heartbroken when I realized I wasn’t quite the right puzzle piece for Ichiban. That same awkwardness that began in my stomach and made its way to the day to day, made functioning in the day to day, beyond the basics, so difficult. So Ichiban slips through my hands.
Who wants to hear songs about that pain and trying-to-find? So, I help others–those who ask–to find their day to day. Thinking, then, perhaps this is my purpose.
That same awkwardness and efforting is what made the person from that last relationship lose confidence in the inner genius that is mine, so quickly and wastefully. I’m so grateful, so grateful that my art of existence brought that truth to light, sooner than later. It’s not a crime to be a creative–it’s the kind of permanent record those with no imagination *wish* they could have!
Gaga goes beyond such in-house criticism and lives to tell the tale. I find myself renewed and, yes, again grateful.
But am I an Amazon of awesomeness like MotherMonster?
After this vessel meditation, all I can see is it’s my job to heal. Simply, plainly, in one state, or the other. And it’s my healing that helps. I fashion myself like an Etsy artist with my little bits of music, a song here, a song there, whittle and work, hum and coo. My “audience” is usually a kind soul who admires the song, feels a breath of peace and calm for the 3-5 minutes, or for the 30 minute set, two hour set, says thanks and takes the experience back into life. My art, then, is more like the craftmaker, the whittler. It’s an amazing revelation to use the analogy with my music, and perhaps too my writing. Freeing indeed.
Beyond that, my little sonic tsotchkes I cannot say what I’m to do. And what else are we here for, but the day to day? No matter how much we plan, this moment, just right now is all that’s promised. I know love lives forever, and that’s a promise.
Lady Gaga, so bold to talk about shame. And a video about the worst day of her life? Come on now, what’s not to just adore about such courage? I love my songs about my hearts and flowers, and love that lingers. Without kissing my shadows and shame, my absolute mortification, there’s no renewal. The Death card ain’t really about death. Suicidal? We all die, someday. So now what? What does that *really* mean?
Escaping into fantasy, yes. Tending to the reasons why one does this? Better yet. So that there’s no artifice about it. Why does the farmer paint his barn? Why does your grandma wear a wig?
So my experiment in living, just for today, is to do it…Just the Tweet.
Her words, were basically Tweet length. (Paraphrased) “Hey Man, I’m just a rock star.”
The little day to day thoughts that are passed back and forth, little enlightenment, dares to wonder, ponder, and even retract, that little sharing of ideas, bold statements, these ideas are little doses of courage. Courage to laugh, to wonder, to ponder, to send and receive respect, to reflect…
…there’s something in my path to healing in that Twitter dojo. Perhaps I’ll see you there. Find you on the road.
So here’s this little monster, putting her paws up, healing alongside you. If nothing else, I know that’s what I’m supposed to do.
Whether or not you agree with the machinations of this or other holidays, focus on family love, gratitude, and the good that comes from times people choose to hold sacred, hold it dear in your own way.
Hold your own heart, spirit, celebrations or alternative celebrations *soooo dear.* Moment by precious moment, that’s all we have, might as well make it beautiful!